Episode #43 Conviction, Confusion, and Connection with Kristine Olsta

Episode #44:

Things Aren’t Always What They Seem with Kristine Olsta

I’m joined once again by the sister who has the goods on me, Kristine Olsta, this time to discuss why things aren’t always as they seem. Whether it’s only seeing the happy moments on curated social media feeds, or asking someone how they are and they just reply with, “Fine…” we’re discussing the key to authenticity without the ugly.

Kristine is a mission-critical IT expert, business consultant, as well as the COO of Virtuosa Vitamins. I’ve known Kristine my whole life as a sister, and more recently, as a collaborator in some business ventures. She has some skill sets I deeply admire, and she’s here to share her wisdom with everyone listening.

Tune in this week to discover why things aren’t always as they seem and the danger of this. We’re discussing why very few things in the world are either all good or all bad, what I’ve learned from online dating about seeing only what people want you to see, and how to explore the world while protecting yourself from the unexpected.

WHAT YOU’LL DISCOVER

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How to be authentic without focusing purely on the negatives.

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Why very few things on this planet are all good or all bad.

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How we form opinions based on what others want to see.

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The danger and confusion of things not always being what they seem.

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How to train your brain to explore, without ignoring its tendency to protect you.

FEATURED ON THE SHOW

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Kristine Olsta: LinkedIn

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Ep #36: Sharing Your Heart with Starley Murray

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Ep #43: Conviction, Confusion, and Connection with Kristine Olsta

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Crockett: It's fascinating to me how when you get to meet a person, the layers of the onion start peeling away, and things are never what they seem. Let’s just be real.

Kristine Olsta: They're never what they seem on that. I can't imagine.

Dr. Crockett: Sometimes it’s for a positive, and sometimes it’s really like no, that’s not going to work.

Welcome to Becoming Virtuosa, the podcast with Dr. Susan Crockett. You are listening to Episode number 44, things aren't always what they seem. An interview with COO of Virtuosa Vitamins, and the sister who has the goods on me, please welcome Kristine Olsta.

Welcome to Becoming Virtuosa, the podcast that encourages you to become your best virtuosa self. Each week Dr. Susan Crockett goes where the scalpel can't reach, exploring conversations about how to be, heal, love, give, grow, pray, and attune. For the first time ever, she's bringing the personal one on one teaching that she shares with individual patients to you on this broader platform. A weekly source of inspiration and encouragement designed to empower you.

By evolving ourselves as individuals. We influence and transform the world around us. Please help me welcome board certified OB-GYN specializing in minimally invasive GYN surgery, internationally in the top 1% of all GYN robotic surgeons, a certified life coach, and US News top doctor, your host Susan A. Crockett, MD.

Dr. Crockett: Today I have my very, very special guest, one of my BFFs and my little sister Kristine Olsta on the show today. I'm so excited for you to be here.

Kristine: Good to be back.

Dr. Crockett: Again. Right? Thanks for coming back.

Kristine: My pleasure.

Dr. Crockett: So we have a debate about what's our topic going to be today, right? Is it going to be things aren't always what they seem, which could be a really fun topic, or 101 ways that we're different from each other.

Kristine: Maybe that one comes later.

Dr. Crockett: That's the next one.

Kristine: Yeah.

Dr. Crockett: Okay. Stay tuned. Now you’ve got to come back. I'm gonna hold you to that. All right, so things aren't always what they seem.

Kristine: Yeah.

Dr. Crockett: Yeah. For example, we're sitting here talking on a set.

Kristine: We were.

Dr. Crockett: It’s not exactly what this room looks like in real life, is it?

Kristine: Pretty close. It's actually a really cool room. Yeah thanks. But to your point, you don't expect to walk into the store and see a set. You expect to see something different, maybe an office.

Dr. Crockett: Yeah. Or a bedroom.

Kristine: Maybe a bedroom. Yeah something like that.

Dr. Crockett: I think we should insert a picture here of what the room looks like, like the back side of it so that people can see like what this looks like other than just the set.

Kristine: Yeah, there's some technical equipment around.

Dr. Crockett: A little. A few pieces. I'm not a geek or anything.

Kristine: No. So yes, this room isn't necessarily what it seems from the outside.

Dr. Crockett: Then when I think about what happens on social media these days, how everybody posts their happy vacation pics, I'm kind of guilty of that. I'm not posting that much these days. But a happy family. I do have an amazing happy family. That's not a lie. But so often what we're trying to keep up with the Joneses on social media is we only see the happy, extravagant blah, blah, blah type of stuff. We're not seeing the nitty gritty every day. Things aren't always what they seem.

Kristine: Yeah. All the struggles, all the dysfunction, perhaps. The sorrows. Definitely the sorrows. People hide their sorrows.

Dr. Crockett: I know. Yeah, why?

Kristine: It's uncomfortable.

Dr. Crockett: To share that. But that's where our vulnerability and our connection comes in as humans, human beings. Starley always says to show your scars, not your wounds.

Kristine: Exactly. That's a good one. That's a really good one.

Dr. Crockett: It’s a really good trait.

Kristine: I was actually listening to another broadcast on the way down. This woman spoke of when we ask each other hi, how are you? It's the fine. It's the fine, and that's a lie. That's not.

Dr. Crockett: That’s polite. It's expected.

Kristine: Yes. But she gave an alternative, which I thought was brilliant, which was you can be authentic without revealing all the ugly and just simply say I'm really struggling a little bit today, but it's going to be okay.

Dr. Crockett: You know, that's a nice way to do it without saying life sucks.

Kristine: Right. Or spewing all over the ugly.

Dr. Crockett: Spewing all your vomit all over the place.

Kristine: Ain’t nobody got time for that.

Dr. Crockett: Ain’t nobody got time for that.

Kristine: Some people do but your casual, you don't have to be so disingenuous. You can have an authentic exchange without having it be the big kimono reveal.

Dr. Crockett: Yep.

Kristine: So I thought that was interesting. A little tidbit on the way. I'm making use of my time driving here.

Dr. Crockett: While you're driving into the wind or away from the wind?

Kristine: Oh, isn't that interesting? We always assume we want to tail wind right?

Dr. Crockett: Yeah, put the wind at my back. Put the wind in my sail.

Kristine: Exactly, but I think that's another one of those you can flip because what if you turned around and spread your wings?

Dr. Crockett: Oh, man.

Kristine: That's the only way you can fly is to have a headwind.

Dr. Crockett: Oh my gosh, I never thought of it that way.

Kristine: Really? Trade your boat for an airplane, right, and guess what you could see.

Dr. Crockett: A whole lot more.

Kristine: It's not always what you think it is.

Dr. Crockett: It's not always what it seems.

Kristine: It's not always what it seems.

Dr. Crockett: So where else can you apply this?

Kristine: Well, gosh, that's an interesting question because I've always identified myself as someone that is prone to seeing both sides of a story and argument.

Dr. Crockett: Yeah, you are very good at that.

Kristine: I can debate. That's helped me be a little bit of a diplomat along the way and helped me out in my career to solve problems and progress for a common goal. So I think it applies in just about anything. If you take a moment to try to look at it differently.

Dr. Crockett: From the other person's perspective?

Kristine: Either that or just we inherently think one thing's bad, but maybe there is a good to it. There's very few things on this earth that I think are just.

Dr. Crockett: All good or all bad.

Kristine: That are pure evil, right, or pure bad.

Dr. Crockett: Yeah. Yeah. That's a lesson of life that has taken me a long time to learn, especially in regard to people like we have this tendency sometimes to label people is good or bad. We're all just both. We’re all just both.

Kristine: We're both.

Dr. Crockett: We're all of it.

Kristine: We're different.

Dr. Crockett: You and I are different.

Kristine: That’s another show.

Dr. Crockett: That’s another episode.

Kristine: Yeah, your shoes are on.

Dr. Crockett: Yeah. Yours are off.

Kristine: Mine are off.

Dr. Crockett: You have pretty eyelashes on, and I don't.

Kristine: That's just fun to do.

Dr. Crockett: That’s just fun to do. All right, so things aren't always what they seem. I think this is interesting because I'm starting to date, as you know.

Kristine: That's a really tricky subject, right?

Dr. Crockett: So it's interesting to look at the online dating thing because you're getting a marketing profile of people. You're putting your own marketing profile up, and you're getting other people's profiles. You're seeing what they want you to see, intentionally or not. Some of them are better than others, but you form this opinion. It's fascinating to me how when you get to meet a person, the layers of the onion start peeling away. Things are never when they seem. Let’s just be honest.

Kristine: They're never what they seem on that. I can imagine.

Dr. Crockett: Sometimes it's for positive and sometimes it's really like no, that's not gonna work.

Kristine: Yeah. Or what I thought was a negative is actually that might actually fit.

Dr. Crockett: That might be a positive.

Kristine: Yeah, it might enrich me.

Dr. Crockett: Yeah. That's been a fascinating experience too.

Kristine: It's dangerous.

Dr. Crockett: What's dangerous?

Kristine: When things are not what they seem, that can be dangerous, right? That’s scary.

Dr. Crockett: Oh, it’s confusing. It’s confusing.

Kristine: You can get hurt.

Dr. Crockett: I can get hurt, right? Right, because our brain is trained to recognize danger. That's our very basic nature that goes back to caveman era, right?

Kristine: It does. It does.

Dr. Crockett: Recognize the stranger danger and run. So our brain’s trained to see things and make a judgment very quickly so that you don't get eaten by the lion.

Kristine: The lion. Well, I really like where you're going with the thoughts about training your brain or just bringing that up. It is a muscle, and our instinct is to protect ourselves emotionally, physically, all of those things. But you can train your brain to take a minute and approach life a little differently, look at things a little differently, evaluate them. Can I go back and say be confused a little bit? Yeah, yeah.

So it's along the same veins. Things aren't always what they seem. But if you train your brain to explore as well as not ignore the protection piece of it.

Dr. Crockett: Explore it.

Kristine: It helps you balance things. So. What did you say?

Dr. Crockett: I said explore, not ignore. I'm like sound bite.

Kristine: Explore, not ignore. That's a good one.

Dr. Crockett: It's a good one. Yeah.

Kristine: Yeah.

Dr. Crockett: This may be a good time to inform our viewers that you and I both have backgrounds in psychology. We're both into that training the brain thing. So you have an actual degree in psychology. That was your bachelor's degree. I'm a certified life coach, which comes from the perspective of training your brain how to think.

Kristine: Yeah.

Dr. Crockett: Yeah. So this shouldn't be a surprise that we ended up having a conversation about things aren't always what they seem. How do you work on your brain with it?

Kristine: That's right.

Dr. Crockett: Yeah, that's pretty cool.

Kristine: It is pretty cool.

Dr. Crockett: So what do we say? Explore, don't ignore.

Kristine: Yeah, explore, don't ignore. Because it's not always maybe what it seems like.

Dr. Crockett: That's part of the fun of life.

Kristine: Yeah. Getting to know something, uncovering the details. It does, to your point, it takes work. You have to decide where you want to put your energy into it or not. As long as you're not shutting out things that can enrich your world or being overtly mean because you don't understand, but how much more enrichment do you get when you take the time to explore?

Dr. Crockett: How much more fun can we have? How much more can we do and expand and grow?

Kristine: I don't know that I'd ever experience a ski slope if I hadn't explored, right?

Dr. Crockett: Right. Or scuba dive.

Kristine: Scuba dive or a hundred of different things that are so much fun.

Dr. Crockett: Yeah. Interviewed on the Dr. Crockett show.

Kristine: I was terrified.

Dr. Crockett: No, you weren't. You were just terrified because it was me. You thought I was going to be mean to you.

Kristine: I did I think about it a lot.

Dr. Crockett: I wouldn't do that.

Kristine: No, I know you wouldn't.

Dr. Crockett: In public.

Kristine: We’re okay.

Dr. Crockett: Yeah. Thanks for being on the show today. It was great. Things aren't always what they seem. But in this case, they kind of are. There's a lot of love.

Kristine: And crazy.

Dr. Crockett: And crazy.

Kristine: And difference.

Dr. Crockett: In equal amounts. I love you sis.

Kristine: Thanks sis. I love you too.

Thanks for listening to this episode of Becoming Virtuosa. To learn more, come visit us at DrCrockett.com, or find us on YouTube for the Dr. Crockett Show. If you found this episode helpful or think it might help someone else, please like, subscribe, and share. This is how we grow together. Thanks, and I'll see you next week. Love always, Sue.

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