Episode #2:

Other Awareness

Now that we have talked about the first couple steps on our journey to becoming a Virtuosa, I want to introduce a new concept to you. This one is all about expanding your awareness about the kind of life you can lead. It’s about opening up what’s possible for you.

So often we go through life and we stay hemmed in by what we’ve done in the past and forget to keep dreaming big for ourselves. But when we stop to look around, when we push ourselves to look outside our comfort zone, we find that there are endless possibilities for us to bring our unique talents to the forefront of our lives. We can create lives we really love.

In this episode we’re talking all about other awareness and how to expand your idea of what’s possible in your life. I want you to stop waiting for permission, or for other people to change, before you wholeheartedly pursue your life.

I’ll share another exercise with you today and some great questions to ask yourself about what you would create if you were functioning at your highest level.

WHAT YOU’LL DISCOVER

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Why becoming a virtuosa is an ideal for ourselves, not a tool for bragging or comparison.

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What it means to become other aware.

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Why I want you to dream bigger and think outside the box of what you currently have and do in your life.

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How to stop waiting for change and start working toward the transformation you want to see.

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How to use the transformation tool to take baby steps toward your desired outcome.

FEATURED ON THE SHOW

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Check out more episodes of the podcast here!

TRANSCRIPT

Welcome to Becoming Virtuosa, the podcast, with Dr. Susan Crockett. You are listening to episode number three, other awareness. This episode is dedicated to David, who first opened my eyes to teaching the concept of other.

Welcome to Becoming Virtuosa, where women learn to love their lives. Do you find yourself frustrated by society’s expectations? Looking for practical advice on how to discover your talents and level up your life? You’ve found the right place. Here’s your host, US News top doctor, robotic surgeon, and certified life coach, Dr. Susan Crockett.

Hello my virtuosas. I am your host, Dr. Susan Crockett. You can call me Sue, since I’m not actually being your doctor on the show. We’re having girl talk. And I am so excited to share with you today, today’s lesson is really inspiring and I’m just really excited to share it with you.

Let me just tell you, it is freaking cold here in Texas. I am in New Braunfels, Texas, which is just in between Austin and San Antonio, and it’s at the edge of the hill country, it’s beautiful, but I woke up this morning with snow on my roof. Y’all, there is snow on my roof. And I got sent a Snapchat from my son, who’s in Waco. His dog, playing in the snow. I’m like, this is craziness. This does not belong here.

So I am snuggling up and burying in and trying to stay warm. Pray for me. Alright, I want to start with a funny little story this week. I was flipping through Facebook and I came across this meme because I belong to this little group that all has the same little kind of dog that I have.

I have this little Bichon. Can you hear him growling? He’s growling. I have this little Bichon. His name is Ollie. And so there was this little meme on there and I just got to share it with y’all. It said, “How to be happy. Number one, get a Bichon. Number two, hug a Bichon. Number three, be happy.”

And I thought, ugh, that is so true. Any time I’m going through my day and I get really stressed out or down, I go to that little Facebook page and just look at the pictures of the Bichons. They make me so happy. So anyway, we’re going to talk a little bit more on a deeper level about happiness as we go through this podcast, but I thought that was cute.

First, I want to review kind of what we’ve done before on the podcast. Our goals for the podcast, what we’re working through, and then I’m going to teach y’all about the concept of other awareness today, or becoming aware of something other. Add in a little discussion about desires and dreams, and I’m going to have a little exercise for you, a little practical stuff and a little bit of something for your mind and your ears, some music, so let’s go.

Just a little reminder of what the overall goals for this podcast is since some of you may not have listened to the previous podcasts and we’re kind of in the middle of a group of lessons that we’re teaching that all go together. My overall goal is that we’re going to learn to manage our brains, our thoughts, so that we can live a happier, healthier life, with intention and on purpose.

And I’m going to teach you how to build that life of abundance and connection that is aligned with your true self. I want you to be able to build a life that you truly love. In our prior podcasts, we talked about what a virtuosa is. The short is that it means woman of excellence and it’s the feminized version of the word virtuoso, which is, as you know, a musician or an artist of great magnitude or esteem and perfection.

So when we apply it to becoming a virtuosa in our own life, it is the practice of wholeheartedly pursuing your life with your individual given gifts and talents to the best of your ability. That’s why the podcast is called Becoming Virtuosa. Because we’re working on becoming the best versions of ourselves.

So we’re not comparing ourselves to others, we’re not bragging that we are like, the best and finest. This is an ideal for us to work towards that might never quite be achieved, but we are confident that in the process of setting our goals and moving forward, that we are being changed and refined and growing in our lives.

In the first podcast, we introduced the transformation tool, which is what we’re working through in the next seven episodes. And this transformation tool is really, really useful. You can use this tool with a specific small thing in your life. I gave the example of going from not being a podcaster to being a podcaster.

Somebody who does podcasts and is brave and steps into the arena and talks to people, which was a really hard thing for me to overcome. But the cool thing about this tool is that you can use it broadly for big things in your life, you can use it over and over again for small steps in your life, and I’m going to teach you how to do it. It works for personal growth on lots of levels.

So if you want to download a free version of the transformation tool worksheet, you can do that for free if you go to virtuosacoaching.com/transformation. That’s virtuosa with an A, coaching.com/transformation. So you don’t have to do the worksheet. There’s plenty for you to gain just from listening, but if you want to follow along and do the worksheet, that’s where you can go to get it.

In the last podcast, which was the one about the frog in boiling oil - boiling water - why do I keep saying that? We talked about the first step of that tool, which was becoming aware of your current situation or circumstances. We don’t want to be that frog in boiling water that is just unaware of things happening around them to the point that it gets really bad.

So we also left you with some homework last time. I asked you to think about what do you love about your current self and your current life, and I asked you to choose one thing that you wanted to start working on in your own life to grow into the next version of yourself. And that became the first line of fill in the blank of the transformation tool.

So I hope you had some time to think about that. We’re going to build on that this week with that one thing in mind. I want you to think about how you are now and then today’s lesson is about learning to think about where you want to go.

So today we are talking about the second step on the transformation tool, which is choosing a desired outcome or goal, and this is what I call other awareness. It’s becoming aware of - not just becoming aware of others around you, like their presence, but becoming aware of the way things are different in their lives or the way things could be different in your lives.

It’s an awareness of otherness, other ways of being. And I’m going to push you a little bit. I hope today’s talk inspires you a little bit. I’m going to dare you to move. In fact, I’m going to give y’all a little sneak peek. I usually save the music part for the bonus at the end of the podcast, but today’s song is going to be Dare You to Move, and I want you to kind of have these lyrics in your head while we are talking through this other awareness process.

Dare You to Move is a song by Switchfoot and it’s one of my core songs. You know we all have kind of core songs or maybe we don’t. I have core songs that help motivate me or move me, depending on what I’m doing, and this is one of my core being songs.

So the quote is, “The tension is here, between who you are and who you could be, between how it is and how it should be.” So that tension is what we’re starting to develop with the transformation tool today. We are moving from talking about who you are and how it is, which is step one, last week’s talk, to who you could be and how it should be, which is step number two.

Alrighty, so just to review the seven parts of the transformation tool quickly, the seven parts are your current situation or problem, number two, your desired outcome, which is today’s talk, moving closer to your virtuosa self or your virtuosa outcome.

Number three is identifying current thoughts, number four is identifying new thoughts that you want to believe but don’t quite believe yet. Those are the I am thoughts. Number five are the ladder or bridging thoughts, number six are what you will imagine you will be like once you get to your new version of yourself.

And then number seven of course is what does that look like on a sustainable basis, on a sustained basis. What is that going to bring you or how are you going to be in the world five years from now if you incorporate these changes into your life?

So let’s talk a little bit about becoming aware of something other. Have you ever noticed the tendency for us to repeat what we’re brought up in? Have you ever seen and looked at people who were brought up in families where maybe there’s abuse? They have a tendency to abuse others because that’s what they know, that’s what they internalize, that’s the world they live in.

So when we’re growing up in a family unit, it’s not usually a completely cloistered unit, but there is a blinder set up where you don’t really understand that that’s any different than what other families have going on. As a kid, you just see your world and what it is, and you don’t really have an awareness of the otherness until you star becoming a little bit more mature and looking outside your family.

So this can happen not just with families, but it can happen with whole countries. Like the other example that I like to use for this are countries that don’t have free internet access like we do. It’s such a blessing and such a gift for us to be able to talk to each other this way and have freedom of speech and be able to reach across and share ideas across cultural boundaries and national boundaries.

So not everybody has that, and it’s a really amazing thing to watch somebody that is in a country that doesn’t have that freedom of access to that information. It’s amazing to watch what happens when they travel to the United States and they see otherness, they see possibility and how other people are living, or they have access to the internet and all of a sudden they can see the rest of the world and what’s going on.

They are exposed and becoming aware of something other. This is why it’s so cool to travel. I love to travel because every time I do, I’m exposed to other cultures and other people, other ways that they’re doing things, and that only enriches my own understanding about my life and others around me, and how I can serve them and grow as a person.

So this becoming aware of something other is really important, not just when we’re traveling or in talking with others on the internet, but there’s a flip side of this too. This is the start of desire. So this is also the place where affairs start in relationships.

So think about how relationships go, if you’re in a committed relationship, you’re doing fine. The most common way that an affair starts is that one of the partners becomes aware of somebody else or something other that they don’t have within their relationship. And if they had never been exposed to that other, then that desire would never start and then the transformation or the change, for good or for bad, would never have happened.

So even in a negative way, we can become aware of something other, and we can have desires that we don’t want, as well as having desires that we do want. So today we are talking about utilizing this tool for developing desires that we do want. Not for having an affair or any of that.

So basically, dreams and desires are where we’re going today and it’s becoming aware of what is possible in your own life. So I was talking to one of my friends today, we were actually in the doctor’s lounge having lunch, and he’s somebody that I respect an awful lot, and we were talking about our businesses and we were talking about goal setting and not being afraid and all of that.

And he gave me this great quote, he said, “Reach for the stars and you may at least get to the moon, but if you just reach for the moon, your feet may never leave the ground.” And I thought that was just perfect for this talk because I want you to start dreaming big. I want you to start thinking big. I want you to be ridiculous in your dreaming about your life or what could be or the otherness that exists that you’re not experiencing that you were born to experience, or that you were made to be.

So, I want you to quit waiting for permission, I want you to stop waiting to be allowed. I want you to stop waiting for your knight in shining armor to rescue you. I want you to stop waiting for your husband to change, your kids to change, your job to change, your boss to change. I want you to be the change you want to see in the world. Literally, you cannot be responsible for any of them. You can only be responsible for yourself. So, be the change you want to see in the world.

I want to go a little bit spiritual for you all. I told you all this is not a religious podcast, but I am going to talk a little bit about my experience of the world and my experiences of understanding God. And you may not term it God. You may have a term that means, you know, that you call it differently; the universe, your true north, your conscience. Whatever you identify as God, you can substitute that word here and it’s just fine.

But when I think about our lives and our world in that big kind of metaphysical sense, I have a deep understanding and appreciation, especially as a physician, about the amazing intricacies of the design of our world, of our bodies, of ourselves. And I cannot help but believe that what I’m seeing is a revelation of a creator, of an intelligence.

So, what that looks like I’m not sure. I don’t think about God as a grey-bearded man up in the sky. I have kind of a different conceptual idea of it. But in any case, when I look at what’s revealed in creation, which includes all of our world, everything in it, us, me, you, when I look at that I see a reflection of the creator and I can’t help but understand that there is a plan and a purpose. And that includes a plan and a purpose for all of us that were designed to be us.

I have a plan and a purpose for my life that is innately granted by just the fact that I was created by an intelligent creator. And you have that purpose too. And tis podcast, this episode where we’re talking about dreaming big is meant to stretch you. I want you to stretch your own brain and your own thinking and think about, if that’s true, if there is a God or an intelligent creator and they created me on purpose and they created you on purpose, what is that purpose? What is that plan? That’s some deep stuff.

So, here’s your exercise. I want you to take out a piece of paper, just a blank piece of paper. And I want you to do a download. I want you to write out all of your dreams; all of them. I mean the ridiculous ones, the outlandish, the ones you had as a kid that you still want, the ones that you had that didn’t work out, the ones that you have for your future.

I want you to write out the ridiculousness of what is possible or otherness. And I want you to be brave with this. I want you to be curious and honest with your heart and I want you to be free to write out whatever you want. I want you to free yourself from whatever the shackles of your circumstances are and I want you to free your mind and just run wild and write all of those dreams down on a piece of paper.

Even if you decide at the end that you don’t want anybody to see it and you’re going to burn it or throw it in the trash, that’s fine. There’s a strength and a purpose in you having to take these thoughts out through your brain and write them out. It’s an important exercise.

So, I want you to think about the desires of your heart, about what you think you were created for and how that aligns with the universe or God’s plans for you, I want you to think about who you would be if you were functioning at your very best level, at your most excellent level, at your virtuosa level. And if you could clear out all the crap, and thoughts holding you back, any circumstances in your way, what would those dreams look like? What would you look like? Who would you be?

So, if you’ve taken a minute to do that, welcome back. Now, what I want you to do is I want you to take your one specific thing that you wrote down from the last podcast, your one thing that you’re going to become aware of and change, and I want you to write out your specific desired outcome regarding this one thing.

So, my example that I’m using through this whole process is I went from not being a podcaster, which on a deeper level meant that I was kind of living in my own space and not stepping up into the arena, not risking the shame or the vulnerability of having a conversation on a podcast with you guys. And my desire was to become somebody who stepped up into that public arena, that was brave, that became a podcaster.

So, in my example, my first line is I am not a podcaster. My desired outcome is I want to be a podcaster, or I am a podcaster. This is your second step in the transformation tool. So, if you’re using the worksheet, write this down in your box that says desired outcome.

Alright, so, just a little recap. What I’ve shown you today is the second step towards transforming yourself and creating a life of abundance that you truly love. And that second thing is becoming aware of something other. Become aware of something other. Be aware of what can be, and I dare you to move.

Okay, so now we come to the section of the podcast where I talk a little bit about what I’m listening to and we share what we’re reading. I really love this part. I kind of gave it away at the beginning about what I’m listening to. I’m listening to Switchfoot, Dare You to Move, which is one of my core songs about myself, or inspiring songs. I love listening to it. I’ll be sitting in the operating room and thinking about developing my skills and who I want to be and I love putting this song on the radio.

So, the reason this is such a great song for today’s lesson is because it’s literally thinking and talking about, in the lyrics, about the tension between who you are, who you could be, how it is, and how it could be and daring you to move into that greatness.

Alright, so, my book for this week, I chose Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. You can find it on Amazon. You may recall that she’s the author of Eat, Pray, Love, the book that was turned into a movie; one of my favorite movies.

And I really love this book, especially for women who are working on transformation or creativity in their lives. It is a really poignant book with a very practical but very kind and unique wisdom about growth. She presses us to embrace our curiosity and to let go of our suffering. And I think this is a really great book for us to be reading while we’re working on this topic of becoming aware of other. So, I hope you enjoy it.

Next week on the podcast, we are going to talk about our current thoughts. And my challenge to you this week is I want you to look around your life this week and observe. I want you to become aware of otherness around you. And like I said before, I don’t want you to just become aware of other people or other things around you. That’s a different kind of awareness.

I want you to become aware of how other people are living or doing things differently than you and how you can engage your curiosity about that and use that as inspiration to help you figure out your true north or your virtuosa type self.

Who would you be if you were functioning at your virtuosa level? What would she look like? And then I want you to go and download the transformation tool. You can go to virtuosacoaching.com/transformation and download a free version of the PDF worksheet. And I want you to write down your specific desired outcome for your one thing in your transformation tool. Okay, my virtuosas, that’s all I’ve got today.

To celebrate the launch of the show though, I’m going to be giving away a pair of virtuosa wireless earbuds. Each week for the first four weeks of our podcast, I’m going to be giving away one pair to a lucky listener who subscribes, rates, and reviews the show on Apple Podcasts.

It doesn’t have to have a five-star review, although I sure hope you love the show. I want your honest feedback so I can create an awesome show that provides tons of value for you. You can visit virtuosacoaching.com/podcast-launch. That’s virtuosacoaching.com/podcast-launch to learn more about the contest and how to enter.

You can also take a peek there of a picture of these beautiful ear pods that will encourage you every time you use them that you are on your way to becoming your own virtuosa. I’ll be announcing the winners on the show in an upcoming podcast.

Okay, my virtuosas, be inspired. Have a wonderful week. I will see you next week in episode four. Love always, Sue.

Thanks for listening to this episode of Becoming Virtuosa. If you want to find out more, come check out virtuosacoaching.com. That’s virtuosa - with an A - coaching.com. See you next week.

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