Episode #5:

“I Am” Thoughts

We often tell ourselves things like “I am stressed” or “I am overwhelmed” or “I am not good enough” without catching ourselves in the act. Whatever words follow “I am” is what we become. That means that if we constantly think about how we are not what we want to be, it will be hard to get there. But on the flip side, we can harness the power of these thoughts and start to envision ourselves becoming the virtuosa we’re meant to be.

In this episode we’ll dive into “I am” thoughts and why they are such a powerful step in the transformation process. I will share some examples of the changes these thoughts have helped me accomplish in my own life, and give you some examples of “I am” thoughts you can experiment with.

I want you to ask yourself what your ideal self says she is. “I am powerful”? “I am an accomplished musician”? “I am a great parent”? Whatever it is, this episode will help you figure out the thoughts that will get you there – and next week we’ll working on starting to truly believe them.

WHAT YOU’LL DISCOVER

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What “I am” thoughts are and why they are so powerful.

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Why so many of us use “I am” thoughts to be unkind to ourselves.

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How our lives follow whatever words we choose to put after “I am…” and why this means we need to be very intentional with our word choices.

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How this tool can help us call into being things that don’t exist yet.

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An exercise for figuring out what thoughts your virtuosa self will think once you have become her.

FEATURED ON THE SHOW

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Check out more episodes of the podcast here!

TRANSCRIPT

Welcome to Becoming Virtuosa, the podcast, with Dr. Susan Crockett. You are listening to episode number five, “I Am” Thoughts. This episode is dedicated to my husband, Brad.

Welcome to Becoming Virtuosa, where women learn to love their lives. Do you find yourself frustrated by society’s expectations? Looking for practical advice on how to discover your talents and level up your life? You’ve found the right place. Here’s your host, US News top doctor, robotic surgeon, and certified life coach, Dr. Susan Crockett.

Hello, hello, hello, my virtuosas. I am your host, Dr. Susan Crockett. You can call me Sue, since I’m not doing surgery on you today or seeing you in the office. This is girl talk.

I have had an interesting week. It’s midweek Thursday morning. I was supposed to have had this podcast done by last night, but things got in the way. So, it’s Thursday morning. I’m heading into the office for a busy clinic and I’m really excited about this weekend.

So, I started this podcast about a month ago, and at the same time, I started a coaching business online. And it’s called Virtuosa Coaching. We talk about it in the podcast. But this weekend, we are having our very first administrative meeting.

And the people that are helping me manage this and put it together and run it, they’re all coming to meet together this weekend. We get to see each other in person for the first time. And I’m so excited. It just feels like the next step in building all of this and making all of this possible for you guys and it’s just going to be a great week.

So, I wanted to talk a little bit today about “I Am” thoughts. That is the theme of today. “I Am” thoughts are the thoughts that we want to believe but don’t quite believe yet about where we want to be in life or who we want to be when we become our virtuosa selves.

And the basic premise is that whatever you say following I am, whatever follows I am is where your life is going to go. So, “I am beautiful. I am a doctor. I am a podcaster,” all of those things are “I Am” thoughts.

And to start out today, I wanted to talk a little bit about a story. I like to use a little story. Our theme story for this episode, for this week, is a pretty old book. It’s one of my favorites from childhood. It’s Jonathan Livingston Seagull.

And I loved this book as a kid. I’m not sure if it was just because the vellum pictures were so cool, the photography in it’s pretty cool, the photography in it is pretty cool, or if it was the actual story. It was pretty readable and relatable.

And what’s happened with this story for me over the years is it’s enrichened and become deeper and I can see different levels of it now. But the basic story and the basic premise about why we’re using it today is it’s a story about a seagull named Jonathan, obviously, Jonathan Livingston. And he lives in a pack of seagulls on the seashore and he’s a little bit odd.

He wants to fly differently and faster and better and push himself to his limits and push himself to the best that he can become as a seagull. And for that reason, he gets himself in quite a bit of trouble and gets outcast from the pack.

And then, when that happens – I’m not going to ruin the whole story for you. But when that happens, he finds out that there are others like himself and other teachers that help him continue to achieve higher and higher levels. And he has some interactions back with the pack and etcetera, etcetera.

Anyway, I thought this was a great metaphor for what we’re talking about today because, today, we talking about thinking about what that virtuosa self you want to be is, what is that best version of yourself? Whether you want to be in a thin strong healthy body, or you want to achieve more in your career, or you want to be a different way in your character or yourself, I want to encourage you to get there. So, this is the next step in that journey.

For me, on a practical level, this also is played out with my medical practice. I’ve talked a little bit about this on the show before. I’m a board certified OBGYN by training and I’ve been in practice over 25 years. And gosh, that’s hard to say. It’s hard to hear. It’s kind of great though. It’s a good place to be.

So anyway, I did general practice for a very long time and I was fortunate enough to be in a group that was a very large group, very busy group when robotic surgery came along. And when that came along it was kind of my Jonathan Livingston Seagull moment.

I realized that that’s what I was born to do. It was like the technology caught up to me in the cross-section of where I was in my timeline of my life. And I was like, “This is what I was meant to do.” And it caused a little bit of friction with my fellow OBGYNs.

They didn’t share my same vision and it didn’t fit into their vision for their practice. So, I was outcast and I felt like kind of a weirdo. But the thing about it was I had other weirdo friends who were ahead of me. They were mentoring me and teaching me and encouraging me and so six years, when I left my practice and started my current practice, that’s kind of where I was.

It was like, “Okay, I’m out here on my own starting my own thing, private practice.” And we’re going to talk today about how my thoughts about myself and who I was really played into that.

But before we get into that, let’s just review our overall goals for the podcast. So, our overall goals are that we’re going to learn how to manage our brains so that we can live a happier healthier life with intention and on purpose. And I’m teaching you how to live a life of abundance and connection that is aligned with your true self because I want you to be able to have a life that you truly love.

We also defined what a virtuosa is. A virtuosa, in short, is a woman of excellence. It’s the feminized version of the word virtuoso, which means to be a great artist or musician. But in calling ourselves virtuosas, we are not saying that with pride or because we think we have achieved that and, “Oh, we’re so great.” I was kind of misunderstood in that way when I named my practice Virtuosa GYN.

But actually, what I was doing was calling that into being. That was my “I Am” thought, “I am a virtuosa. I am a great surgeon and I’m going to think and believe and breathe into that role. So, becoming a virtuosa in your own life, no matter what your artistry or your skills are – maybe you’re a teacher or a mom or a musician or whatever it is that you do or whatever your skills are – becoming a virtuosa in your life is practicing wholeheartedly those gifts in your life.

So, just a little recap. We are in a series right now. We’re on episode five. We are teaching about the transformation tool, which is a tool that I created to help break down the process of going from where you are to where you want to be in your life. It’s the process of transformation.

This is a process that you can recreate again and again in your life. It’s not just a one-time thing. It’s a tool you can use forever to help you achieve what you want to achieve.

In our first podcast, we introduced the transformation tool, which you can download for free if you want to at virtuosacoaching.com/transformation. You don’t have to download that PDF, but if you’d like to, we are on step four of that seven-step transformation tool today. And we’re going through this tool with a specific thing in your life that you have in mind that you want to change.

So, maybe you want to lose weight. Or maybe you want a promotion at work. Or maybe you just want to show up differently in your relationships with your spouse or your kids or your job. So, this is a tool that I use with my patients to help them focus on identifying their thoughts and their desires and their actions in their lives to help them achieve the results that they want.

In the last couple of podcasts, we talked about the first three steps of that tool. And if you haven’t listened to those podcasts, I would encourage you to. You don’t have to. You can pick up right here if this is your first time listening. But in the first three podcasts, we talked about becoming aware of your current situation or the problem that you want to change, and then the next step would be to have an awareness of what else is possible.

We call that other-awareness or becoming aware of how other people live or think or do. And that is the start of the desire to change. You have to be able to conceptualize what that might be.

In the last episode, we talked about defining our current thoughts, which would be the thoughts that we have about our current situation. And in the last podcast, I gave you a little bit of homework. I asked you to watch around you to look at the people and their stories this week and see if you could start to sort out what is circumstance or things that are happening that are neutral around them from their thoughts about those circumstances.

so, last week, we talked a lot about what a circumstance is and what a thought it. And then I asked you to consider what thoughts you’re willing to think about changing in order to become the best version of yourself. So, that’s where we’re picking up today.

So, you should have in mind that one thing or that one part of you that you want to work on improving or changing in your life as you work through this tool. Maybe you just want to feel better. Maybe you want to stop overdrinking. Maybe yours is weight loss. But today, we’re going to talk about that fourth step.

So, we are teaching about the “I Am” thoughts. These are the thoughts that we choose to think in becoming our virtuosa self, or our best self. But we don’t quite believe them yet. So, in the example of me leaving my general OBGYN practice and starting a robotic surgery practice, or minimally invasive GYN surgery practice, I went from thinking, “I am a general OBGYN who does all kinds of general OBGYN work,” to I needed to be in a place where I thought very differently, where I thought, “I am a surgeon. I’m running my practice like a surgery practice. I am a high-volume, high-quality best version of what a robotic surgeon is for women, for my women, and I can strive to deliver the best care that I can at the highest level.”

So, when I first started the process of leaving my old practice to moving to where I am now six years later, I wasn’t at the place where I am right now, but I started thinking the thoughts that I have right now in order to drive that vision. Today, we’ll have an exercise and then we’ll help you apply this skill to your one thing that you’re working on transforming about yourself. And that’s really exciting.

We’re almost halfway through this tool. So, let’s just review the seven parts of the transformation tool really quickly. The first is to identify your current situation or problem. The second is to look at what your desired outcome or moving closer to your virtuosa outcome would be. Your third part is your current thoughts about your current situation. The fourth part, which is what we’re talking about today, are identifying the new thoughts that you want to believe but don’t quite yet.

We call these the “I Am” thoughts because whatever follows I am is what becomes. Next week, we’re going to talk about ladder or bridging thoughts. Everybody wants to know; how do I get from my current thoughts to those thoughts that I don’t quite believe? Because this is not just speaking affirmations until you believe it.

We have a tool called ladder thoughts or bridge thoughts that we’re going to talk about next week which is how you go step by step by step and transform in your mind and constantly renew it to move from your current thoughts to your new thoughts.

And then, step six is, what will I imagine I will be like once those new thoughts are incorporated? And step seven is, what does this look like on a sustained basis? What does this look like five years from now, 10 years from now?

Alright, so, the power of our words, which flow from our thoughts – man, the power of our words is everything. Life is in the power of words. Life and death is in the power of words. What follows the “I Am” that you speak into your life is where your life will follow.

So, whether those are good words coming from your thoughts or bad words coming from your thoughts, they lead you down this path so you can have thoughts about yourself like, “I suck,” or, “I’m ugly,” or, “I can’t do this,” or, “This is too hard,” or, “Everybody says I’m dumb,” or, “I’m so stupid.” All of those things are negative examples of “I Am”.

And the interesting thing about that is, if you speak those thoughts or continue to think those thoughts in your head, that’s where you will follow. You will continuously feel and act stupid and whatever you’re laying down there as your “I Am”.

The opposite also applies. If you put positive thoughts or good thoughts to follow the I am, like, “I am virtuosa,” or, “I am a podcaster,” or, “I am strong and healthy,” or, “I am not a drinker,” that is a very powerful way to start moving your life towards where you want it to go.

And this is why I would encourage you to never talk down to yourself or never talk badly to yourself. It is amazing how mean we can be to ourselves, how we can self-criticize and down-talk to ourselves in a way that we would never ever allow a friend to be talked to in that way.

And a lot of us aren’t even aware of those tracks that are running in our brain, those tapes that run and run and run. And then our brain, from a neurophysiologic level, they run deep groves. Those tracks run without us even thinking in our subconscious.

So, they can be rewired. They can be retrained. Our brains have an amazing capacity to do that. But you have to become aware of it on the conscious level to be able to retrain those tracks that are in the subconscious level.

When we speak encouragement into our own lives, it has a positive effect on our emotions and how we show up, and ultimately, our results. So, what I’m talking about here where I’m laying down words or thoughts to follow I am, it’s not like a name it or claim it thing. It is not magical and it is not, like I said, just saying affirmations that you don’t believe.

It is setting your intention and then continuing to rewire your brain and your thoughts to help you go that way. So, in order to find your virtuosa thoughts, or the thoughts you want to have about your best self, I want you to picture that version of yourself.

So, take just a second, picture her in your mind. Like, if you’re a musician, picture yourself at your peak performance, your virtuosa level, wherever that is going to be for you. If you are struggling with your weight, I want you to picture yourself at your ideal body shape, size, feeling. I don’t necessarily like to focus on eight because weight can mean a lot of different things.

I would rather have my patients be strong and healthy than thin and weak. But whatever your version of yourself is that you want to be, I want you to picture it there. And I want you to just for a second ask yourself, what does she think?

So, how does her brain work? What does she think when she’s already there? So, for instance, when we work with people who are overdrinking and they want to stop drinking, one thing that we talk about is how when you’re a drinker or an overdrinker, there’s an awful lot of your time and your thoughts that are consumed with drinking, “Where am I going to get my next drink? What am I going to have tonight? How great is it going to feel? Who am I going to be with?”

And when we think about what a non-drinker does or somebody who doesn’t overdrink, what we realize about their thoughts is that they hardly ever think about drinking at all. They’re not constantly fighting against the urge to have a drink or trying to push that out of the way. They just don’t think about it. It’s not even part of their life. Their brain is freed up to think of other things.

So, that’s the process that I want you to think about here. So, picture your virtuosa self, picture what she thinks and feels as she is in that virtuosa self. And even if those thoughts aren’t thoughts that you believe yet but they are those of someone who has the virtuosa attributes that you want, that’s what I want you to be thinking on.

So, especially if you don’t think them yet – because what we’re working on is personal growth, and if you aren’t striving for something new, then where is that growth coming from? So, in order to strive for something new, you have to think big. You have to think outside of what your current thoughts are. And they may not seem believable right now, but I’m going to show you how to get there.

So, in case this sounds like a lot of woo-woo to you, I want you to think about this on a couple of levels. So, spiritually, cross-culturally, across history, across all kind of denominations and faiths there are spiritual principles which are considered universal principles, where they show up again and again and again in theory.

They show up in ancient religions. They show up in our modern religions. And one of those things that comes forth again and again is the power. In the word in almost all historic religions, when you look at how creation stories happen, all creation stories, it’s almost a being speaking it into being, “God said let there be light.”

Were encouraged to call things into being that don’t yet exist. We’re encouraged to let the weak say that they are strong. And again, those are not like name it or claim it, like, “I want a million dollars, so give me a million dollars.” That’s not how it works. What this is based on is a scientific principle, and I just love it. I love it when religion and science intersect because I think, at the core level, they probably are the same thing but they just haven’t reached that nexus yet.

But scientifically, if you look at this theory, it’s based on cognitive behavioral therapy. So cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT is a widely accepted and utilized theory of psychopathology. And basically, how this goes is your brain is wired to have thoughts about your circumstances. And those thoughts create your feelings and your emotions. And those drive your actions and, ultimately, your results in life.

So, your results constantly feed back to your thoughts. And so, in CBT therapy, what we work on is exactly what I’m teaching you here. I’m just teaching it in a way that’s a little bit easier to do on your own. But this is a tried and true scientific model.

So, here’s your exercise. Last week, we became aware of our current thoughts that are driving our current circumstances or condition. And today, I want you to picture you at your desired outcome, your virtuosa self, and I want you to write down all the thoughts that she thinks, especially if you don’t believe them yet.

Write them all down, all the thoughts. And then, what you’re going to do is you’re going to take your top three thoughts and you’re going to write the, down under the desired thoughts in your transformation tool, in that block. And this becomes the fourth step towards the transformation of yourself.

So, what I’ve shown you today – thanks for joining me. Thanks for listening in – I’ve shown you the fourth step towards transforming yourself and creating a life of abundance that you truly love. This step is about defining the thoughts that are gong to guide you to becoming the new version of yourself. We call these “I Am” thoughts because what follows I am is what we become.

So, in the story that we started with at the beginning of the Jonathan Livingston Seagull story, what happens with him is he has these thoughts that he’s meant to be able to achieve these results and that there is a higher level of understanding and being, both in a scientific, or laws of aerodynamics level, but also spiritually. And he learns to become that and become that from level to level.

And my medical practice story ending is kind of similar. So, what has happened is now six years later, I am in a place where I wanted to be, which is I wanted to develop my skills in this very defined way and I wanted to be somebody that could teach others. Because I could do surgeries one by one by one. I am only one surgeon. I can only so many surgeries.

But I’m so passionate about women having easier ways to have their surgeries done that my real goal is to multiply that and to teach other surgeons to do it. And to be able to do that, I had to get past the place where I was outcast for those ideas and be in a place where my ideas were welcomed again.

And that has taken some time to happen. But just like it happened in Jonathan Livingston Seagull’s story, it’s happening here in my life. And that’s really kind of cool. I had a realization this week in a couple of different ways that I’ve grown into that virtuosa self and that part of the story is completing. So now, I’ve got to figure out what the next level is.

So, thanks for listening in today. At this time in the show, we always talk about what we’re listening to and reading. And I would encourage you to write me in the comments or you can email me at virtuosa@virtuosacoaching.com. Let me know what you are reading or listening to.

The song that I had in my head for this podcast was also kind of an old song. It’s Natasha Bedingfield’s Unwritten. I just love that. It’s a good little lyric metaphor for today. She says, “I am unwritten, can’t read my mind. I am undefined. I’m just beginning. The pen’s in my hand. So, live your life with arms wide open. Today is where your book begins. The rest is still unwritten.”

So, today, I want you on your exercise to write with that pen in your hand, picture what might be and what that book’s going to be and write down those thoughts that are going to get you there. And then, of course, what I’m reading this week is Jonathan Livingston Seagull, a book by Richard Bach, the classic.

Alright, so, next week, we are going to talk about how to go from our current thoughts to our desired thoughts. We’re going to bridge that gap between how we’re thinking right now to our “I Am” thoughts by learning about bridging or ladder thoughts. I’m really excited about this. This is a key piece that I think a lot of us struggle with. So, next week’s episode should be really great. Be sure to tune in.

So, your challenge for this week is to pay attention to your thoughts and can you catch yourself when you start having negative self-talk? Can you become aware of those ingrained negative tapes that are in your head? So, I want you to practice finding the thoughts that your virtuosa self would think. Even if you don’t believe them yet, I want you to practice those thoughts that you’re going to replace the old thoughts with. Practice your “I Am” thoughts.

Okay my virtuosas, that’s all I’ve got today. To celebrate the launch of the show though, I’m going to be giving away a pair of virtuosa wireless earbuds. Each week for the first four weeks of our podcast, I’m going to be giving away one pair to a lucky listener who subscribes, rates, and reviews the show on Apple Podcasts.

It doesn’t have to be a five-star review, although I sure hope you love the show. I want your honest feedback so I can create an awesome show that provides tons of value for you. You can visit virtuosacoaching.com/podcast-launch. That’s virtuosacoaching.com/podcast-launch to learn more about the contest and how to enter.

You can also take a peek there of a picture of these beautiful AirPods that will encourage you every time you use them that you’re on your way to becoming your own virtuosa. I’ll be announcing the winners on the show in an upcoming podcast.

Okay, my virtuosas, that’s all I’ve got for this week. Be encouraged and uplifted. Have a wonderful week and I will see you next week, love always, Sue.

Thanks for listening to this episode of Becoming Virtuosa. If you want to find out more, come check out virtuosacoaching.com. That’s virtuosa - with an A - coaching.com. See you next week.

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